her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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