dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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