Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
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