some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
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