I think scott just propositioned me for sex
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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