I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
