where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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