Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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