You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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