i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize