I just pynch a tree in the face
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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