We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
