Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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