im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
