I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
There are leaves in my underwear?
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