I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
