I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize