yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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