Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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