The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
