I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
