when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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