Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
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I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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