He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
