He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I'm having to shit out rocks
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
