return my video game
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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