She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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