Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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