Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
