i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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