upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
