put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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