Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
