Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
