Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
