I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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