do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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