This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
It's never too late to be topless.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
