Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
