well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
this boner is exhausting
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Randomize
