She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
