then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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