vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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