The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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