What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
