So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Randomize
