People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
