Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
