I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
