I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize