We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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