So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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