Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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