somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
