At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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