captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize