I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
