Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
