my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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