I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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